We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
