am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize