this beer tastes like vomit already
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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