I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
