I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
