Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
