my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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