i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
