I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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