I CAN MOONWALK!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So. Much. Porn.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
