physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
