there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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