I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
