nutella sex= disaster
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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