I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
COCAINE IS GR8
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
