I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
