I got chris browned last night
420 ftw
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
