everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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