Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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