They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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