3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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