Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
