Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
