is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
