we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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