At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
