The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
