I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
