Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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