He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
