Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
