She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
