she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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