There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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