Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
