shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
only if we run a train.
done.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Everclear isn't food dammit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
