We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
