let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You ruined the universe
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
