Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize