I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
