He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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