You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
