Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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