dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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