what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
vagina is talking i cant
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
