I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't deserve a penis
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
