Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Houston, we have a squirter
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
