oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The air was thick with penises
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
