Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
