just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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