i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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