i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
