remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
