so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
