What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
