I want to have your abortion
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
