I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Operation Purity has been aborted
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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