question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
