cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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