Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
