We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
