I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
