We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
