At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
