My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Still dying that you shit outside
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
