i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
