Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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