i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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