hotel room ftw
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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