WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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