Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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